Yeah.... See all that black, we're right in the middle of that. That black means 81-100% power outages, and it's updated every 15 minutes. So yeah, we fled to NH to get heat and water. Super fun!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
"Work Smarter, Not Harder"
So since moving in, we've had to downsize considerably (only two closets in the whole apartment), but it really has been great. Nothing like waking up and watching The Tonight Show clips and eating gummi bears for breakfast, well that was just today, but still. So I have interview. Yeah. I'm excited, and not. It's a job, so I'll do it. The shift is graveyard, 3-9am, but that kind of fits me. I just won't be able to see the boy as much :( I'm hoping something library related opens up, hint hint perhaps the NCCC library that I can see out my window.... but in the meanwhile, it would be nice to pay my own rent, perhaps put something aside.
I'm really glad I deleted facebook, it's kind of like an addictive substance for me, since I am so dependent on peoples reactions and what they think of me. The issue I had with facebook, is that I cared to much. When two people (whom I thought were friends), who still go to Keene, deleted me, one blocked me, and the other blocked me when I messaged her asking what I did and saying that I was sorry for whatever "it" was, I was really upset. I cried for a month, started sleeping till 6pm, and barely got out of bed, let alone the apt. This all sounds ridiculous, and overly dramatic, which it was, but I couldn't help it. As usual, I put too much stock in my friendships. With the majority of people on that stupid social networking site, when I added them as a friend, I meant it. I am not a fair-weather friend. I will literally do whatever it takes to make things alright, and to be there for them. To the few who appreciate it, mainly a suite mate of mine from Keene, I have formed incredible friendships, ones that I can see having all of my life, and am incredibly grateful for.
I mean, in the end, this really is my own fault, because I walked right through the warning signs, and as always, the only person hurt is me. And yes, perhaps they were "cleaning house", but is it so damn hard to admit it? Here I am thinking I did something wrong, and wanting to change it. I always want to learn, and grow, and if I make mistakes, I try not to repeat them, as a good friend has said to me, "Work smarter, not harder".
That's why I acknowledge that facebook is a poisonous environment for someone like me, because I don't do this pretend stuff. I have tried, I try to keep up and be mean girl, but I suck at it. I have too many other issues to deal with. I wear my heart on my sleeve, it gets me in trouble, it pushes people away from me, but it's who I am, and not only am I okay with it, I love that part about me. I'm not afraid to hash it out for the better, I can fight, and in the end, if need be, I can throw out psychological punches faster and better than most, because it's what I've been trained to do (I didn't spend three torturous years in boarding school doing nothing). We're all bad guys, we're all good guys, we're all human, and we screw up constantly. As I grow up, and since I've left college, all I've done with my life, is throw off the mask, and unscrew the social norms that have been placed all over me. I'm me again, or closer to me than I've ever been. And I'm happier by the day.
I'm really glad I deleted facebook, it's kind of like an addictive substance for me, since I am so dependent on peoples reactions and what they think of me. The issue I had with facebook, is that I cared to much. When two people (whom I thought were friends), who still go to Keene, deleted me, one blocked me, and the other blocked me when I messaged her asking what I did and saying that I was sorry for whatever "it" was, I was really upset. I cried for a month, started sleeping till 6pm, and barely got out of bed, let alone the apt. This all sounds ridiculous, and overly dramatic, which it was, but I couldn't help it. As usual, I put too much stock in my friendships. With the majority of people on that stupid social networking site, when I added them as a friend, I meant it. I am not a fair-weather friend. I will literally do whatever it takes to make things alright, and to be there for them. To the few who appreciate it, mainly a suite mate of mine from Keene, I have formed incredible friendships, ones that I can see having all of my life, and am incredibly grateful for.
I mean, in the end, this really is my own fault, because I walked right through the warning signs, and as always, the only person hurt is me. And yes, perhaps they were "cleaning house", but is it so damn hard to admit it? Here I am thinking I did something wrong, and wanting to change it. I always want to learn, and grow, and if I make mistakes, I try not to repeat them, as a good friend has said to me, "Work smarter, not harder".
That's why I acknowledge that facebook is a poisonous environment for someone like me, because I don't do this pretend stuff. I have tried, I try to keep up and be mean girl, but I suck at it. I have too many other issues to deal with. I wear my heart on my sleeve, it gets me in trouble, it pushes people away from me, but it's who I am, and not only am I okay with it, I love that part about me. I'm not afraid to hash it out for the better, I can fight, and in the end, if need be, I can throw out psychological punches faster and better than most, because it's what I've been trained to do (I didn't spend three torturous years in boarding school doing nothing). We're all bad guys, we're all good guys, we're all human, and we screw up constantly. As I grow up, and since I've left college, all I've done with my life, is throw off the mask, and unscrew the social norms that have been placed all over me. I'm me again, or closer to me than I've ever been. And I'm happier by the day.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Repeat
You will have this stuck in your head for the rest of the week, enjoy! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eE4_XlnNCcs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eE4_XlnNCcs
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Done
I did it! I deleted my facebook! No longer am I a slave to the social mess of facebook. Now I just have to keep away from it. But I think it'll be pretty easy, drama vs no drama which would you pick?
Friday, September 23, 2011
News
Hello All!
So big things happening in smelleticut!
We are moving!
After being subjected to second hand smoke from our neighbors for four months, and us having a pretty severe reaction to it, we are packing up and moving out. We were able to break our lease, which is really hard to do, but they are playing nice so far, so lets hope! We're move out into the middle of nowhere CT, exactly where we wanted to go, and to a non-smoking building. Yay!
In other news, after being subjected to another round of Facebook drama, I've decided it's time to get out of that trap. I'm sick of being a part of a website where I've never seen more adults act like children, and where people hide behind virtual walls stalking each other, and treating people in such abhorrent ways that they would NEVER have enough guts to do in person. I've done it, and I've been ashamed of myself for it. Although, unlike most people, the things I post on FB, and things I say on FB, are things I actually say in person. I am not afraid to confront people, it's not my favorite thing to do, but I'll do it. Another common misconception is that I specifically put up controversial media to irritate others and start fights, which is so far from the truth that it is almost hysterical. I put up things, on MY facebook, that I am interested in. I share it, on MY wall, for MY friends that share similar interests. If you're my friend and you don't have similar interests, here's a thought, DON'T look at it. I'm allowed to have my opinions, and if that's what I use my social media for, than deal with it or don't waste my time. Since people have found that impossible to do, and continue to act this way, I've figured it's time to cut the poison out. I don't need to have people who I thought were friends deciding to cut me out without an explanation. How about the people who really want to keep in touch with me, keep in touch with me the old fashioned way. Yeah, old fashioned meaning emails, letters, calls, and texting.
I came to this resolute decision after having a great talk with a great friend. He really helped me shift back into a good mindset. I've been really hurting lately, and have had a skewed perspective, and I was not treating myself well at all. I deserve more than this in life, and I am going to get it. I am going to be the person I am, and the person I want to become, and be happy with my past and present. Although I am already happy with my past. I have no regrets, so I am already half way there.
So anyways, the move will occupy quite a bit of time, but once we move in, I am deleting FB, changing my eating habits, not sleeping all day, and getting back to nature and what is real. Eventually I will put up that post on religion, but for right now, I need the anger out of my life for a bit. I'm thinking of doing a video, it's much easier to talk, but we'll see.
So big things happening in smelleticut!
We are moving!
After being subjected to second hand smoke from our neighbors for four months, and us having a pretty severe reaction to it, we are packing up and moving out. We were able to break our lease, which is really hard to do, but they are playing nice so far, so lets hope! We're move out into the middle of nowhere CT, exactly where we wanted to go, and to a non-smoking building. Yay!
In other news, after being subjected to another round of Facebook drama, I've decided it's time to get out of that trap. I'm sick of being a part of a website where I've never seen more adults act like children, and where people hide behind virtual walls stalking each other, and treating people in such abhorrent ways that they would NEVER have enough guts to do in person. I've done it, and I've been ashamed of myself for it. Although, unlike most people, the things I post on FB, and things I say on FB, are things I actually say in person. I am not afraid to confront people, it's not my favorite thing to do, but I'll do it. Another common misconception is that I specifically put up controversial media to irritate others and start fights, which is so far from the truth that it is almost hysterical. I put up things, on MY facebook, that I am interested in. I share it, on MY wall, for MY friends that share similar interests. If you're my friend and you don't have similar interests, here's a thought, DON'T look at it. I'm allowed to have my opinions, and if that's what I use my social media for, than deal with it or don't waste my time. Since people have found that impossible to do, and continue to act this way, I've figured it's time to cut the poison out. I don't need to have people who I thought were friends deciding to cut me out without an explanation. How about the people who really want to keep in touch with me, keep in touch with me the old fashioned way. Yeah, old fashioned meaning emails, letters, calls, and texting.
I came to this resolute decision after having a great talk with a great friend. He really helped me shift back into a good mindset. I've been really hurting lately, and have had a skewed perspective, and I was not treating myself well at all. I deserve more than this in life, and I am going to get it. I am going to be the person I am, and the person I want to become, and be happy with my past and present. Although I am already happy with my past. I have no regrets, so I am already half way there.
So anyways, the move will occupy quite a bit of time, but once we move in, I am deleting FB, changing my eating habits, not sleeping all day, and getting back to nature and what is real. Eventually I will put up that post on religion, but for right now, I need the anger out of my life for a bit. I'm thinking of doing a video, it's much easier to talk, but we'll see.
Monday, August 22, 2011
The Start of the Long Awaited Posts
Let's talk. And let's be frank. I have had quite a few people ask me why I haven't put up a religion post yet, and the reason is pretty simple. The past few weeks I have been attempting to get a job in the Hartford, CT area, which in this job market is laughable for sure. I also have had the unfortunate circumstance of having to weekly battle religion with a former friend, exhausting the topic for me. Now that my mind is clear, and said person removed from my life, I am free to return to my Atheist ways in peace. So here is a forward to the religion post to come.
When I talk about religion, most people stop listening because I am extremely blunt about it, and must people listening are religious themselves. I have unfortunately been surrounded by too many suffocating religious people in my life, and since I have burst forth from this sheltering and judgmental cocoon of "God", I have found my voice against the atrocities and lack of morals produced by religion. Yes, that is right, lack of morals. Because this voice I have discovered is loud, and proud, it is quick to be sheltered and shunned, and is automatically classified as extreme. In fact, my thoughts are not extreme, they are just in opposition of the favored position. It should also be taken into account that said favored position has extreme emotional ties to those who hold it, leading them to be extremely irrational in defense of it. It should also be noted that these people are very frequently ones who have based their whole entire lives off their chosen religion, and psychologically depend on it as a pillar of their existence, which makes questioning it even harder for them.
This post I will be writing will be blunt, factual, and unemotional. For me it is basic fact. I go by what the facts tell me, and the facts and evidence (at the present time) lead to the conclusion of it to be highly more likely of there NOT being a divine being, then there being one. In fact, they do not support there being a divine being at all. Sorry, but an all encompassing, and very commonly self-manifested, "feeling inside" that religious people so often look towards as evidence as proof, is in fact not proof at all. As an anxious person who can occasionally be prone to self-inflicted panic attacks (not on purpose of course), I can accurately say that one CAN manifest a feeling so strongly in themselves without it being based off of any fact or reason. I have found, with said panic attacks, the inspiration that lead me to panic was in fact my own misinterpretation of the facts. Please note, I gave this personal example to promote an understanding between us that I am one to do my own research, and go off of my own experiences combined with research, and that I do not form my opinions based solely off of Google searches, college psychology classes, and my purported "hatred" of people, which was the assumption by the former friend I mentioned above, who will most likely be reading this post.
The last thing I would like to clear up, before I bring this post to and end, is that although I have a hatred for religion, I do NOT have a hatred for people. Among other things, I consider myself a humanist, despite the general discourse between Humanism and "Militant" Atheism/Anti-theism, I know that both can work together in harmony. It is my humanist morals, and the affection that I have for ALL creatures in the universe, the push me to Anti-theism. I do not truly believe, I know that it is possible for humans to possess morals without religion, and I know that religion is actually more harmful than good. In fact, what good it does offer is almost always tainted with the insistence of judgement of others who do not follow said religion, and the pending admission to heaven.
So, fasten your seat-belts, clutch your sacred texts, and be prepared for my honest opinion, no holds barred, no restrictions.
Summary:
This WILL be a verbal attack on most of your religions.
When I talk about religion, most people stop listening because I am extremely blunt about it, and must people listening are religious themselves. I have unfortunately been surrounded by too many suffocating religious people in my life, and since I have burst forth from this sheltering and judgmental cocoon of "God", I have found my voice against the atrocities and lack of morals produced by religion. Yes, that is right, lack of morals. Because this voice I have discovered is loud, and proud, it is quick to be sheltered and shunned, and is automatically classified as extreme. In fact, my thoughts are not extreme, they are just in opposition of the favored position. It should also be taken into account that said favored position has extreme emotional ties to those who hold it, leading them to be extremely irrational in defense of it. It should also be noted that these people are very frequently ones who have based their whole entire lives off their chosen religion, and psychologically depend on it as a pillar of their existence, which makes questioning it even harder for them.
This post I will be writing will be blunt, factual, and unemotional. For me it is basic fact. I go by what the facts tell me, and the facts and evidence (at the present time) lead to the conclusion of it to be highly more likely of there NOT being a divine being, then there being one. In fact, they do not support there being a divine being at all. Sorry, but an all encompassing, and very commonly self-manifested, "feeling inside" that religious people so often look towards as evidence as proof, is in fact not proof at all. As an anxious person who can occasionally be prone to self-inflicted panic attacks (not on purpose of course), I can accurately say that one CAN manifest a feeling so strongly in themselves without it being based off of any fact or reason. I have found, with said panic attacks, the inspiration that lead me to panic was in fact my own misinterpretation of the facts. Please note, I gave this personal example to promote an understanding between us that I am one to do my own research, and go off of my own experiences combined with research, and that I do not form my opinions based solely off of Google searches, college psychology classes, and my purported "hatred" of people, which was the assumption by the former friend I mentioned above, who will most likely be reading this post.
The last thing I would like to clear up, before I bring this post to and end, is that although I have a hatred for religion, I do NOT have a hatred for people. Among other things, I consider myself a humanist, despite the general discourse between Humanism and "Militant" Atheism/Anti-theism, I know that both can work together in harmony. It is my humanist morals, and the affection that I have for ALL creatures in the universe, the push me to Anti-theism. I do not truly believe, I know that it is possible for humans to possess morals without religion, and I know that religion is actually more harmful than good. In fact, what good it does offer is almost always tainted with the insistence of judgement of others who do not follow said religion, and the pending admission to heaven.
So, fasten your seat-belts, clutch your sacred texts, and be prepared for my honest opinion, no holds barred, no restrictions.
Summary:
This WILL be a verbal attack on most of your religions.
Monday, July 4, 2011
The New Life?
So since moving down to Connecticut, I have been extremely busy doing nothing with my life, it's a tough job! No really though, could someone hire me? Please? Yeah. It's come to that. I really don't want to do retail, but even they aren't calling me back. The library job, the library technician job, the one where you only needed some library experience, not even a bachelors, had over 100 applicants. At least half of them having an MLS. So I obviously didn't hear back from that job. Although the test the administered for the second round was absolutely ridiculous, I still really wanted that job. My mom knows of someone whose son is going to UNH in the fall for his freshman year, and during orientation, one of the students said that 80% of the recent graduates from our year had to move back home with their parents. That sucks. I know I am incredibly lucky to be living in my own apartment with my boyfriend, truly it's wonderful, but I'm ready to do something. I'm tired of leeching off my parents, I want my own income! This job market sucks. I'm not going to point fingers and blame, at least not right now, but trying to find a job these days, ANY job, is crazy. It's like I might as well not have a Bachelors degree, especially since I got it in the most useless subject ever, Psychology. Well I'm going to taper off my rant, but I know, I KNOW the majority of those who graduated from college in the past few years, have most likely felt this, and are probably still dealing with this. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll get back to the grand NOTHING I was doing...
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