Mermaid Bus

Saw this on the Shaytards vlog the other day, when Shay and Katilette were pulling into LAX for their flight to FL for the CTFxC royal YouTube wedding of the year (congrats Alli and Charles!)

But seriously though, can I have this bus?

How to (hopefully) delete your facebook!

One of the Atheists I follow posted this on their blog the other day, thankfully it is EXACTLY what I had been searching for! So as we all know, facebook doesn't let you delete your account, you can only deactivate it. But thanks to this helpful link, you might actually be able to delete it. I don't know if this is just another scam by Zuckerberg, but if it is real, I am one happy girl. Go ahead and give it a try!

https://ssl.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form=delete_account&__a=3


Many MANY thanks to The Ex-Christadelphian for this link!
Check out his blog, it's great :)

Posting

My posting has definitely come down to all time low. I really have had no motivation to do anything productive. Nannying has been a bust, and I give up. It's not worth it, and I'm tired of getting hurt by Connecticut people, I had enough of that in college thank you very much. I'm depressed and lonely, and need a job desperately, but I don't feel like working or doing the work to even get one. Yes, you, economic depression, you have defeated me for now. But one thing you haven't taken from me, is my ability to find my own hopes and dreams. I went up to my high school two weeks ago, and although I did NOT have a good time while I was a student there, I DID have a wonderful time visiting. The school has changed so much for the better, and I am so proud of how well they are treating their students now. Yes, it's a private school, so it's always going to be partially about the money, but they really are focusing on the students. One thing that has always helped me with other people, is my ability to relate. I'm a pretty moderate person, although any religious person wouldn't argue otherwise. This moderation helps me coast through the middle of life happily. I have my ups and downs like every other person don't get me wrong (definitely in a down right now), but I find myself pretty middle of the road these days. With this stability I have brought about in my life, I have found what I want to do with my future. I want to work with adolescents, at a private school. Preferably at my alma mater, but that's not a guarantee. I want to be a counselor or instructional support. To be able to provide the help and support that I was so lucky to have found in a few wonderful individuals at my high school. I know it's because of them that I've reached this point in my life, and that I wouldn't have made it without their hard work and support. I want to provide that for students, to be there for them in such a critical part of their lives. So yes, that is my dream, now if only I could find some confidence and a job to get me into a program to work my way towards my dream. Of course confidence and a job are hard to find these days, but hopefully I can get myself "un-depressed" and motivated enough to get some confidence. Let's hope I can!

October 2011 Snowstorm

Yeah.... See all that black, we're right in the middle of that. That black means 81-100% power outages, and it's updated every 15 minutes. So yeah, we fled to NH to get heat and water. Super fun!

"Work Smarter, Not Harder"

So since moving in, we've had to downsize considerably (only two closets in the whole apartment), but it really has been great. Nothing like waking up and watching The Tonight Show clips and eating gummi bears for breakfast, well that was just today, but still. So I have interview. Yeah. I'm excited, and not. It's a job, so I'll do it. The shift is graveyard, 3-9am, but that kind of fits me. I just won't be able to see the boy as much :(  I'm hoping something library related opens up, hint hint perhaps the NCCC library that I can see out my window.... but in the meanwhile, it would be nice to pay my own rent, perhaps put something aside.
I'm really glad I deleted facebook, it's kind of like an addictive substance for me, since I am so dependent on peoples reactions and what they think of me. The issue I had with facebook, is that I cared to much. When two people (whom I thought were friends), who still go to Keene, deleted me, one blocked me, and the other blocked me when I messaged her asking what I did and saying that I was sorry for whatever "it" was, I was really upset. I cried for a month, started sleeping till 6pm, and barely got out of bed, let alone the apt. This all sounds ridiculous, and overly dramatic, which it was, but I couldn't help it. As usual, I put too much stock in my friendships. With the majority of people on that stupid social networking site, when I added them as a friend, I meant it. I am not a fair-weather friend. I will literally do whatever it takes to make things alright, and to be there for them. To the few who appreciate it, mainly a suite mate of mine from Keene, I have formed incredible friendships, ones that I can see having all of my life, and am incredibly grateful for.
I mean, in the end, this really is my own fault, because I walked right through the warning signs, and as always, the only person hurt is me. And yes, perhaps they were "cleaning house", but is it so damn hard to admit it? Here I am thinking I did something wrong, and wanting to change it. I always want to learn, and grow, and if I make mistakes, I try not to repeat them, as a good friend has said to me, "Work smarter, not harder".
That's why I acknowledge that facebook is a poisonous environment for someone like me, because I don't do this pretend stuff. I have tried, I try to keep up and be mean girl, but I suck at it. I have too many other issues to deal with. I wear my heart on my sleeve, it gets me in trouble, it pushes people away from me, but it's who I am, and not only am I okay with it, I love that part about me. I'm not afraid to hash it out for the better, I can fight, and in the end, if need be, I can throw out psychological punches faster and better than most, because it's what I've been trained to do (I didn't spend three torturous years in boarding school doing nothing). We're all bad guys, we're all good guys, we're all human, and we screw up constantly. As I grow up, and since I've left college, all I've done with my life, is throw off the mask, and unscrew the social norms that have been placed all over me. I'm me again, or closer to me than I've ever been. And I'm happier by the day.

Repeat

You will have this stuck in your head for the rest of the week, enjoy! :)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eE4_XlnNCcs

Done

I did it! I deleted my facebook! No longer am I a slave to the social mess of facebook. Now I just have to keep away from it. But I think it'll be pretty easy, drama vs no drama which would you pick?