Thursday, November 17, 2011
My posting has definitely come down to all time low. I really have had no motivation to do anything productive. Nannying has been a bust, and I give up. It's not worth it, and I'm tired of getting hurt by Connecticut people, I had enough of that in college thank you very much. I'm depressed and lonely, and need a job desperately, but I don't feel like working or doing the work to even get one. Yes, you, economic depression, you have defeated me for now. But one thing you haven't taken from me, is my ability to find my own hopes and dreams. I went up to my high school two weeks ago, and although I did NOT have a good time while I was a student there, I DID have a wonderful time visiting. The school has changed so much for the better, and I am so proud of how well they are treating their students now. Yes, it's a private school, so it's always going to be partially about the money, but they really are focusing on the students. One thing that has always helped me with other people, is my ability to relate. I'm a pretty moderate person, although any religious person wouldn't argue otherwise. This moderation helps me coast through the middle of life happily. I have my ups and downs like every other person don't get me wrong (definitely in a down right now), but I find myself pretty middle of the road these days. With this stability I have brought about in my life, I have found what I want to do with my future. I want to work with adolescents, at a private school. Preferably at my alma mater, but that's not a guarantee. I want to be a counselor or instructional support. To be able to provide the help and support that I was so lucky to have found in a few wonderful individuals at my high school. I know it's because of them that I've reached this point in my life, and that I wouldn't have made it without their hard work and support. I want to provide that for students, to be there for them in such a critical part of their lives. So yes, that is my dream, now if only I could find some confidence and a job to get me into a program to work my way towards my dream. Of course confidence and a job are hard to find these days, but hopefully I can get myself "un-depressed" and motivated enough to get some confidence. Let's hope I can!